Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Update On Me... An Exposition
Ok, its been a while since I've written ANYTHING in this blog, much less something about myself that doesn't concern politics or society or blah blah blah. So this is just a bit of an update for the three of you out there that actually read this blog at all.
The last few months have been completely dull and unfullfilling. Work sucks, as it always does. I really feel that I'm less of a person having worked at this office. Sure it pays the bills, but I've looked at myself lately and I haven't liked the changes I've seen over the last two years. I feel less funny to start with. I feel boring and uncomfortable... mostly from having to spend so much time not talking to people and not getting to cut up and be myself at work and I think that its carried over very much into my personal life outside of the office. And I don't like it.
I've got an interview at Brown's Ferry on the 7th. Its one of those very likely life changing interviews. I'm excited but very nervous. I'm twenty-six years old. Yes I'm young... I feel young... I wanna BE young, but as I get older I do feel the slight twinge of old age motivation kicking in. I want to find a job that I know will be there for years to come. A job that pays well enough to support my addictions.... no not THAT kind of addictions... but the type of addictions that do not have a social stigma, like family, friends, fun times, travel, etc. etc. Its time to grow up in a way, even if I'm not planning on getting old anytime soon.
This job has the potential of being the job that forever sets my life's course as it would be capable of fufilling all of those worldly needs I've mentioned. And SHOULD be able to help reduce the worrying and stress that comes from having to live paycheck to paycheck and bill to bill... which should make those less-worldy things better as well. Relationships in particular.
So, if you happen to be reading this I would be eternally gratefull if you would say a little prayer for me and my interview... because as we all know its all in His hands anyway.
I've been trying to keep myself busy... which I never used to do. Only recently have I reached the point where I don't enjoy just wasting time. In my former life I could spend the whole afternoon taking a nap and not regret the dicision one iota, but these days it seems that the days are far shorter and the time available to spend with my friends, and myself, have been greatly shortened. I'm sure that my working full time is the culprit, but that fact doesn't ease the feeling to any degree. I feel like I'm wasting my time most days. Like I should be accomplishing more in my life than just going to work and hanging out. Don't get me wrong, I put the value of spending time with friends above most all other things because when eternity is staring you in the face only the relationships that we've built on this earth will carry over into the next... but I do know that I have been given my talents and abilities to do more worthwhile things though I have not, as yet, been able to step out offer them up.
I'm standing at a new threshold in my life's corridor. I've lingered long enough in this particular vestibule and I'm eager to see what lays beyond the next door, yet I'm not entirely running forward with exuberance. This a heavy door indeed... the heaviest I've faced to date; filled with important life decisions, painfull changes, and hauty expectations of life to come. However, I am fully confident that whatever lies beyond that solid oak buffer that I can have the strength and ability to overcome... Hopefully I will not have to face this passage alone.
The last few months have been completely dull and unfullfilling. Work sucks, as it always does. I really feel that I'm less of a person having worked at this office. Sure it pays the bills, but I've looked at myself lately and I haven't liked the changes I've seen over the last two years. I feel less funny to start with. I feel boring and uncomfortable... mostly from having to spend so much time not talking to people and not getting to cut up and be myself at work and I think that its carried over very much into my personal life outside of the office. And I don't like it.
I've got an interview at Brown's Ferry on the 7th. Its one of those very likely life changing interviews. I'm excited but very nervous. I'm twenty-six years old. Yes I'm young... I feel young... I wanna BE young, but as I get older I do feel the slight twinge of old age motivation kicking in. I want to find a job that I know will be there for years to come. A job that pays well enough to support my addictions.... no not THAT kind of addictions... but the type of addictions that do not have a social stigma, like family, friends, fun times, travel, etc. etc. Its time to grow up in a way, even if I'm not planning on getting old anytime soon.
This job has the potential of being the job that forever sets my life's course as it would be capable of fufilling all of those worldly needs I've mentioned. And SHOULD be able to help reduce the worrying and stress that comes from having to live paycheck to paycheck and bill to bill... which should make those less-worldy things better as well. Relationships in particular.
So, if you happen to be reading this I would be eternally gratefull if you would say a little prayer for me and my interview... because as we all know its all in His hands anyway.
I've been trying to keep myself busy... which I never used to do. Only recently have I reached the point where I don't enjoy just wasting time. In my former life I could spend the whole afternoon taking a nap and not regret the dicision one iota, but these days it seems that the days are far shorter and the time available to spend with my friends, and myself, have been greatly shortened. I'm sure that my working full time is the culprit, but that fact doesn't ease the feeling to any degree. I feel like I'm wasting my time most days. Like I should be accomplishing more in my life than just going to work and hanging out. Don't get me wrong, I put the value of spending time with friends above most all other things because when eternity is staring you in the face only the relationships that we've built on this earth will carry over into the next... but I do know that I have been given my talents and abilities to do more worthwhile things though I have not, as yet, been able to step out offer them up.
I'm standing at a new threshold in my life's corridor. I've lingered long enough in this particular vestibule and I'm eager to see what lays beyond the next door, yet I'm not entirely running forward with exuberance. This a heavy door indeed... the heaviest I've faced to date; filled with important life decisions, painfull changes, and hauty expectations of life to come. However, I am fully confident that whatever lies beyond that solid oak buffer that I can have the strength and ability to overcome... Hopefully I will not have to face this passage alone.
# posted by Bo : 4:05 PM
